[DUCKPONDS]

There have been spiders in my room for the last three nights in a row.

As in the first night a spider crawled up the wall and I killed it savagely before disposing of it’s body.

Then the next night, another spider came looking for it. Like the first spider was the provider of the family, the father and he went out looking for food but never came home, so the second spider (the eldest son) was like ‘Mom, Betty, Dad didn’t come home last night, I gotta go find him’ and they were like ‘Oh God Billy, Don’t Go! It’s too dangerous! I don’t want to lose you too!’ And he was like ‘No, I got this’.

But then I killed that spider.

And then the youngest son was like ‘It’s okay mom, I’m gonna stay with you. I aint gonna leave u’ but the next night went out drinking and decided to avenge his family.

But then I killed that spider.

So now there’s only the mother left.

Tonight, she’s either going to quietly commit suicide because her entire family has been decimated or she’s going to try and take me with her.

By crawling up my shorts or over my face.

I have to be on guard tonight.

She’s coming.






Basically I’m saying there are lots of spiders in my room this week.

  1. smashlaserlightshow reblogged this from jerksuke and added:
    I hope that was sarcasm, because I really question myself when I come up with these things. Haha, and I expected you to...
  2. smashlaserlightshow reblogged this from jerksuke and added:
    Other scenario: Those two...fled because they used to live with that one psycho spider...
  3. jerksuke posted this